A short story

I sat down to write a kids story, just something short and creative. That's when it hit me that all the good short stories have already been written. Seriously, with a little less greed Dr. Seuss could easily have left one for someone else to write. While contemplating the slim pickin's left, I was thinking about a story with a pig that had a magic pair of pants, only they weren't really magic, it was just thinking that they were magic that gave him the confidence to do things...that is so stupid and unoriginal. Damn you Dr. Seuss!

Maybe I could write a story about a disobedient little dog that ate the entire bottle of glucosamine off the counter, and then greeted her unsuspecting owner with a 10 second stream of water from her butt when he got home. This, along with the three other puddles of disgust already spread around the house, really made his day. He already had a fever that had reappeared during the day at work, and an ear infection that felt like it would rupture each time he bent over to swab up some more of the butt fluid. Fortunately she was ok, and many hours later actually ate some food and kept it in her stomach. The only reason she ate then, was because the cat started eating out of her bowl and it was more than she could stand. Interesting that greed trumped irritable bowels. It's also interesting that bowls and bowels are spelled so similarly.

Sometimes I wish I were in the cash cab, I could really use a street shout out:
"Hey, can someone explain the point of my life to me, because nothing that I thought has actually turned out to be true or relevant?
"I'm in the cash cab and really need the answer! Is anyone out there?"

Mobile shout out:
"Hello, I'm in the cash cab and really need some answers!"
"For English please press one."
Beep.
"For technical assistance please press or say two."
Beep."Two."
"Thank you. Your call will be answered in the order received."
Beep, beep, beep.
"Pressing additional buttons will not help, our next available representative will be with you."
Bleep, bleep, bleep.
"Please hold while we route your call to a foreign country and let them practice English on you."
"No! which button do I press for no?"
"We're sorry, your call has been disconnected. If you'd like to make a call please hang up and dial again."
"I only had one mobile shout out, now what?"

If only all the good books hadn't been written already...I'd have something to do. Once again Dr. Seuss, damn you.