And the winner is?

Part of being American is knowing where things rank. The innate value of the ranking depends on the category, but the system design is universal; if you are number one, then you have out done all others in your category. Of course, since being number one is the only thing that earns any respect here in the land of the free, sub-categories had to be developed based on more stringent criteria, so more number ones could be named.

We honor the leading killer among: all Americans, different groups over or under a given age, among smokers and drinkers, depending on where you live and the likelihood that you'll be stabbed or bludgeoned, among different races, and different classes.

In some cases, the separations are obvious and valid; Black lung never really got a foothold on Martha's Vineyard. In other cases the criteria and the category are invalid; Children who are over weight at 16 are the most likely to be overweight as adults (there are so many things wrong with this one).

The categorizing starts at a young age, as we decide who is most likely to succeed among our peers in high school. Of course, we based this decision on what we knew about the world then. If we had known that he came from a family of smokers and was 10 times more likely to be a smoker himself, thereby increasing his risk of heart disease and stroke, as well as the tendency to stay up late and surf porn on the net, we would have voted for someone else.

When we watch the Olympics, we see an on-going tally in the corner of the screen titled "The Medal Count." All the athletes that have lived their lives with the Olympics as their ultimate goal are reduced to one of four categories: Gold, Silver, Bronze, and "did not place," which, of course, makes them a failure. However, if they fail spectacularly enough, they can still become the biggest failure.

I wonder where doing the best that you can ranks? I think the problem with that is that it's subjective. If you don't win, how do the rest of us know if you really tried your hardest. Plus, 9 out of 10 people prefer to watch a winner.