Saturday, July 14, 2012


     It’s always something small that carries subtle enough meaning to get deep in my head and slowly start retrieving little memories and assembling them into feelings that eat at me silently. When the moment comes where I remember the subtle prodding that started it all, I’m always amazed at the complex path my mind took in recognizing the importance of that small moment. What ultimately became dreams of the west coast and a longing to be nearer my kids and the days when we were all together started with an innocent request.

     Some friends came over recently with their two young kids, like they have many times. I always dig out the video games and search for batteries to replace the ones that slowly died since the last time the kids were over and used the games. And then a very serious, earnest request came when I failed to find enough fresh batteries to power more than one controller. “You know how you can never find enough batteries? Before we come over again, can you buy a big pack of batteries?”

     That was weeks ago, and as I sat here drinking my coffee this morning that request went through my head again.

     When my kids left home, they took the need for batteries with them. There are so many things that kids keep alive with their presence….what a void their absence creates. There is a definite peace and sense of completeness that the old days are wrapped in. Life goes on and finds new direction, and everything is unknown and unfamiliar again. As thrilling as that can be, it can also be very stressful and trying.

     Sometimes it would be nice to just be the guy again who always had a box of batteries and was ridiculed while losing at video games...

“You’re so old dad.”
"Aw, come here and give me a hug you little rascal."